Stupid Cars Is Delightfully Frantic Traffic-Directing

Stupid Cars is simultaneously a misnomer and a very apt title.

It's the most polite thing you may exclaim when something goes wrong while playing, yet to call this game “stupid” is to sell it short. Despite its humble scope, this is an ingeniously designed little game with great VR integration to boot. Really, the only question is if you play games in VR to relax because Stupid Cars will wreck that plan instantly. It's a good game, but it will get your blood pumping.

The premise is devilishly simple: you're guiding traffic, by either telling them to speed up or slow down. All motorists are always in motion, though by adjusting their speeds with one pull of either trigger, you keep them from crashing into one another. That's the theory, anyway - plenty of accidents are going to occur while mastering each stage. Then they start throwing roundabouts, trains, buses, and even motorcycles that always make right turns at you. My word, does it get to be a lot, very quickly!

You see, the trick is how you progress through Stupid Cars, and you can brute force your way by earning up to 2,500 points. You could also make this a bit easier with a 2X multiplier if you up the speed of traffic, and 4x multiplier if you let cars overtake each other, but those are high risk/reward options. The simpler option is to get fifty points in a row in a single session. This is easier said than done, since everything is constantly in motion, with more and more cars spawning every few seconds. You can also get extra points for “Close Calls”, though typically any of those I earned were completely accidental.

Despite the difficulty curve, I beat every stage swiftly enough. However, it seems even the developers at Gimbal Studio realized that Stupid Cars can get a tad intense, so there's one free “continue” for every attempt, retaining your current score. They also have a very whimsical, bouncy soundscape to keep the mood light. You're not being graded or anything - every attempt adds up, and leaderboards are off in their own menu. Granted, if you want to compete, there are some absolutely more talented Stupid Cars players have already achieved scores in the hundreds. I, however, am content to have scored 93 in a row on the final map, titled Chaos.

What's really impressive though is how well Stupid Cars leans into the VR setting despite not necessarily requiring it. It received a flat version on Switch, mobile, and PC, but it feels like a natural fit for VR. Having both controllers (and optional hand tracking input) allows for easier, rapid-fire multitasking. The approach to making it a 3D diorama, feeling almost like an arcade cabinet, lends a distinct air of classic arcade sensibilities that pairs well with the challenge.

Then you realize Stupid Cars has full mixed reality integration with Quest's passthrough view. You can load it up and adjust its position in your view, while being fully aware of the actual room you're playing in. It's a genius move that makes the pick up and play nature feel all the more natural. Stupid Cars is, for all intents, its own portable arcade cabinet on Quest. For as much as we often go on about how VR offers immersive worlds, there's a delightful elegance to have something you can pick up and play without having to shut out the world, too.

To be fair, Stupid Cars isn't going to redefine how you view casual games, and that's absolutely fine. It's genuinely fun, an ideal starter game for those who are new to the Quest headsets, and has next to no issues. I would argue that the Bike Blitz level can be a bit harder than the other stages, and a few more songs for the soundtrack would be good. Otherwise though, I've got no notes. If you like the look of it, give it a whirl!

Stupid Cars is available now for $5.99 on the Meta Quest platform.