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Navigating a Colleague's Over-Reporting to Management
Imagine this: You’ve been in your new job for some months. You work closely with one colleague in a small team. However, this colleague has an unusually close relationship with your manager and reports nearly everything you do – whether it’s necessary or not. Examples of the behavior: You ask a straightforward simple question to the department head (whom you’ve previously worked with) without CC’ing your direct manager. Boom – she reports it. You implement something and ask her to review it as part of a standard four-eyes principle. If she finds an issue (which is the point of the review), she informs the manager immediately. The main problem? The manager encourages this behavior. Instead of promoting direct communication between the two of you, he says things like, “If anything bothers you, come directly to me.” This feels more like an open invitation for her to continue reporting everything, rather than fostering teamwork. She seems to be in constant contact with the manager about you. Sometimes, the manager brings things up with you and you’re able to explain your perspective. But more often, you’re left wondering what’s being said about you. Currently, the manager has a positive impression of you, but you’re concerned that over time, this constant narrative from her could chip away at his trust – especially since you have no way to verify or correct what she’s saying. You’ve already told your manager that you value direct communication within the team, but nothing has changed. My concerns: Her reports to the manager could gradually undermine my credibility. The dynamic feels exhausting and demoralizing, as I’m always on edge about how my actions are being perceived or relayed.Of course, she also makes mistakes, which is very human. I have always addressed them directly with her and never reported anything to the manager. What I’ve tried: Emphasizing the importance of direct communication with my manager. Maintaining professionalism and focusing on delivering results. My question to you: How would you handle a situation where: Your only teammate reports your every move to the manager? Any strategies to navigate this environment effectively without causing conflict or seeming defensive? I’d appreciate your insights!
Imagine this: You’ve been in your new job for some months. You work closely with one colleague in a small team. However, this colleague has an unusually close relationship with your manager and reports nearly everything you do – whether it’s necessary or not.
Examples of the behavior:
- You ask a straightforward simple question to the department head (whom you’ve previously worked with) without CC’ing your direct manager. Boom – she reports it.
- You implement something and ask her to review it as part of a standard four-eyes principle. If she finds an issue (which is the point of the review), she informs the manager immediately.
The main problem? The manager encourages this behavior. Instead of promoting direct communication between the two of you, he says things like, “If anything bothers you, come directly to me.” This feels more like an open invitation for her to continue reporting everything, rather than fostering teamwork.
She seems to be in constant contact with the manager about you. Sometimes, the manager brings things up with you and you’re able to explain your perspective. But more often, you’re left wondering what’s being said about you.
Currently, the manager has a positive impression of you, but you’re concerned that over time, this constant narrative from her could chip away at his trust – especially since you have no way to verify or correct what she’s saying. You’ve already told your manager that you value direct communication within the team, but nothing has changed.
My concerns:
Her reports to the manager could gradually undermine my credibility. The dynamic feels exhausting and demoralizing, as I’m always on edge about how my actions are being perceived or relayed.Of course, she also makes mistakes, which is very human. I have always addressed them directly with her and never reported anything to the manager.
What I’ve tried:
Emphasizing the importance of direct communication with my manager. Maintaining professionalism and focusing on delivering results.
My question to you: How would you handle a situation where:
Your only teammate reports your every move to the manager? Any strategies to navigate this environment effectively without causing conflict or seeming defensive? I’d appreciate your insights!
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